Hi young man, this is not burnout. You seem to have reached the point where your outer ideas of life no longer serve the organic inner ideas of life per se, and so you have been creating all sort of pain around yourself in order to notice that the conflict you've created can no longer be maintained.
Go back some years to where you last re-wrote your self-definition and take out anything that's not real. This kind of struggle is one where you are going to have to extricate yourself from your thoughts and ideas, otherwise known as illusions, about life, and become an actual self-reliant/psychological adult .. which is supposed to happen at this stage/age.
If you can manage to keep your work connection as a means of everyday grounding, by all means do that while you mourn the end of childhood.
Anyhow, you wrote in the comments: Now that it's done, I feel like I can relax a bit and also accept that things can go poorly and it doesn't have to be devastating.
And that's the truth. I would underline it. Remember it while your emotions suggest that you should feel like shit. Then it will pass. Its not fair, its not easy, but adulthood is worth it.
Go back some years to where you last re-wrote your self-definition and take out anything that's not real. This kind of struggle is one where you are going to have to extricate yourself from your thoughts and ideas, otherwise known as illusions, about life, and become an actual self-reliant/psychological adult .. which is supposed to happen at this stage/age.
If you can manage to keep your work connection as a means of everyday grounding, by all means do that while you mourn the end of childhood.
Anyhow, you wrote in the comments: Now that it's done, I feel like I can relax a bit and also accept that things can go poorly and it doesn't have to be devastating.
And that's the truth. I would underline it. Remember it while your emotions suggest that you should feel like shit. Then it will pass. Its not fair, its not easy, but adulthood is worth it.