I'm quite (socially) liberal and I thought your post was simply wrong, for starters. Among the places you can ask the question "what is being gay" without getting "dogpiled" are countless gay sites. Aren't gay sites part of the internet?
The statement I take issue with is "[...] this might be one of the last places left on the internet you can ask a question like this without getting dogpiled."
There are lots of places on the internet where asking honest questions about the gay experience is not scary and will not get you flamed. Indeed, the existence of such venues is crucial to the self-discovery of gay people — especially gay people who live in hostile environments, and who may be in great need of a kind confidant.
"What does it mean to be gay?" is a question that gay people ask themselves, especially while forming their identities. So there are many, many places where you can find kind and thoughtful answers to it.
Honestly i have no idea but this might be one of the last places left on the internet you can ask a question like this without getting dogpiled.
I've batted for both teams in my life and i still can't tell you.