And electronic bidets are the most awesome of toilets. Once you get used to them (and they are fairly affordable as long as you don't go for Toto), using paper feels so... primitive.
Almost eleven years ago, one Stana Claus contributed† the following factoid to history:
Just so you know, some varieties of corn have a dark reddish cob
while others have more of a whitish colored cob. When I was but a
wee child I was told by my beloved grandfather that the proper
outhouse technique required "two reds and a white". The red cobs
(apparently more readily available, at least in that locale) were
used for bulk removal, and the white was used to determine if the
job was sufficiently done. Surely, my grandfather wouldn't have
lied to a small impressionable child about such a thing!
